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02 October 2009 @ 09:02 am
Ummm... what to write!

So far today (9.15am) I have already got myself, grounded, partualy ungrounded, have breakfast and a shower, and now lisening to music.

And I have a day off school (inset day) so I SHOULD be going swimming but you know, thats me, always grounded. I'll get over it! I always do. I always find someway to get through the day, I found that as long as you pick your mates carefully you can get through most anything. And as a general rule boy mates are more reliable. :D luuv uu guys (even though you guys don't know about my blog but HEEY!)

much love, Xx
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Paramore - Born for this
Today wasn't all so bad.

Had Physics, I sit next to Daniel in Physics, which is cool, he's a laugh. Gem is always trying to put me down though. Aparently I flirt with Dan, Josh (he might be my best boy mate, but I deffinatly DON'T like him like that) and the other Josh.  Everyone knows she's an insucure bully, but I don't want to stand up to her after what happened when Hailey and Anna did. I should probably explain here that Hailey and Anna are two of my best mates, twins, and when they stood up to Gem, they got victimised by everybody (bar Lois me of course, we never leave real friends). That's why I love my boy mates, not biching. If they have an argument they just smack each other around the head. Solves things much faster.

And then Gem goes spinning some lie about trying to set me up with someone, but I know she was just using the excuse to have a bitch. I don't want to be set up. I'm healing a broken heart as it is and I don't need anyone else to smash it back up again. I was fearless (and stupid) enouth to fall in love twice, and I want to wait untill someone who actualy wants me to come along before I make that mistake again. I just need someone here to save me.

Last night was bad. I felt like crying. So I whent to the blue lagoon (in my mind at least, it's too far too physicaly go). The blue lagoon is in Pembrookshire, It's somewhere I feel completely safe, no one there can harm me. Just the deep blue crystal waters, the sheer cliff drops and the Welsh wind and sunshine.
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Taylor Swift - Teardrops on my guitar
29 September 2009 @ 12:00 am

To be honest I'm pretty dammed stupid when it comes to chosing who to let my guard down for. I've been waiting eleven long months since this boy called Robbie (who I have liked since... forever) got together with his girlfriend. Because I just couldn't let go. God knows why I kept killing myself, every day I let him drag me down. I realised just the other day what hell I was putting myself through, because lets be honest. Who would you chose; Beautiful 17 year old, perfect complectioned Jade with amazing hair, me (not so perfect lets say)?

I decided to let him go. No amount of crying will change anything, I should know. And I deserve better. Sure it hurts, but, life sucks.  I can't just hold on to everything forever.

And I just have to stand and watch my mate Kiera fall into the same pit with Liam. She just won't listen to me. She just won't listen. But she let her heart win like me. God I hope he doesn't hurt her.

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Current Mood: crappybroken
Current Music: Paramore : RIOT!